Monday, December 23, 2013

i thought i would be the one to change his mind

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN LOOKING THINKING  RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT WANT KID TO GET MARRIED WANT TO CHANGE HIM CANNOT CHANGE HIM BREAK UP STORY Untitled by Alejandro Melero Carrillo , on Flickr
Photo via: Alejandro Melero Carrillo

We broke up on the way home from work. Nick picked me up from the train station in my car and I couldn't even look him in the eye. Throughout the workday I replayed over and over of what I was going to say to him. But once I got in the car my mind went blank and I couldn't swallow that lump in my throat. We parked outside our apartment and before he could get out of the car I blurted out "Are you happy?" He fumbled with my keys for a minute and said, "no." I wish he was brave enough to have told me on his own but I think he knew I would bring it up first. You see, we have been friends since high school so he knew my personality very well. We kept in touch over the years and randomly started to date when we were 26. I always wondered what it would be like to date him and now I can safely say that we were not meant for each other. After a year of dating we moved in together and without thinking twice I thought/hoped/prayed that he was the one. However, he didn't want to get married or have kids and that is something that I couldn't compromise on. Like any hopeful person I thought I would be the one to change his mind. I wasn't.

That night I told him this: "Maybe you won't ever get married or have kids but maybe, just maybe, you'll meet someone so special that your mind will change and you'll choose her to start a family with." He said, "yeah." He is a man of very few words.

9 months has passed and this is the longest I've ever been single. I've been told that I'm the "girlfriend type" not the "dating type," which I couldn't agree more with. I'm thankful for this time of not having any attachments but it has been tough. I've been on a string of great dates with sad endings...up until I met Jason. It sounds cheesy but when we first met I had this calming feeling. Like, we could talk about anything. He enjoyed my random humor and he commented me on my solid eye contact. We have been dating for a few weeks now and I'm enjoying our time together. He likes to take things slow and I'm kind of an energizer bunny when it comes to dating. But, so far it has been evening out. I don't know where things will go with us but Jason makes me feel how I have always wanted to feel and I am thankful that he was brought into my world.

I would choose Jason.

1 comment:

  1. I can relate. I always think that I'm the one who can change them. Either as a person or change their mind. Haven't succeeded yet. Im happy youve found someone!

    ReplyDelete

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